“The extract of a visa sometimes says more about the soul of a person than several years of psychoanalysis.” The resounding statement is made by the firm Joan Antoni Melé, promoter of Triodos Bank and advisor to ethical banking projects in Latin America. Melé, with more than 30 years at the helm of bank branch management, was well aware of the intimate relationship between people and money, a much more complex psychological link than we might think on first reflection.
How we spend the money we have says a lot about ourselves, our personality, life guides and our awareness of the value of things. This idea has served as a compass for the economist and former Morgan Stanley financial advisor Cristina Benito to identify the pathological states in which we sometimes settle in relation to income. In her book Money Mindfulness, the auditor explains how from the psyche we can improve the link with prosperity, in a way that includes the modification of harmful patterns as a previous step to generate, conserve and multiply cash. But first, it is essential to take a look inside ourselves and ask ourselves: how am I in my relationship with money?
“Our expenses tell many things about us, they reveal what we spend time on, our tastes, priorities and awareness of the value of things,” argues Benito. And rescuing the famous reflection of the promoter of Triodos Bank, he insists that “the bank statement reflects your objectives, purposes and values”. It’s not just about what we buy, but how and where we buy. And not to lose sight of the basic axiom that if we make a purchase decision, we are also deciding not to buy many other things.
Based on this analysis, the economist unfolds five types of people who maintain toxic ties with wealth; five patterns that need to be changed if we want to cultivate prosperity. If anything seems familiar to you in the following, it’s time to turn on all the alarms.
1. The arsonist
His profile coincides with that of the ‘husband’, an individual who spends compulsively, the money burns in his hands. Cristina Benito points out that, taken to the extreme, he coincides with the gambler. If we delve a little deeper into the psychology of these people, it will be easy to discover the existence of latent life dissatisfaction, for work or personal reasons.
“The person who hates his job, his life or both, needs compensation for the time he spends locked up doing something he does not like. Therefore, when leaving the office or home, he covers his emptiness by acquiring something he does not need. , like the sick child who is given a toy to cheer him up”, he exemplifies.
2. The detached
It is the altruistic variant of the arsonist. The selfless person doesn’t have money in his power either, but not because he spends it on whims for himself, but because he reverts it to the well-being of others. It is a form of unhealthy generosity and taken to the limit, where the individual feels greater pleasure in being able to help others or give them satisfaction even when that complicates his own financial situation. Although he does not have that income, the selfless person will always try to invite friends to a dinner or lend money to those who he knows will not be able to return it.
Under this behavior, a problem of lack of self-esteem can be glimpsed, of a person who tries to ‘buy’ the love of those around him. Psychology experts point out that, in some cases, extreme generosity is related to people who lacked the love of their father or mother.
3. The Poverty Neurotic
This profile makes a show of that Jewish proverb “what you despise turns against you”. The neurotic of poverty does not give money away, nor does he consume it compulsively, but he sees it flow around him, as if it were not with him. Income, therefore, never seems to stop at his door, in a way, because this person gives off an outright rejection of metal for idealistic or value reasons.
Beyond the artists and anti-system, the neurotic also nests in the professionals who give up asking for raises or raising their rates
Artists and very idealistic individuals tend to point -unconsciously- to this pathological category. Since their childhood, they have associated money with something negative and try to maintain strong and high principles and ethics by rejecting it or generating a detachment. They are not willing to give up their beliefs to feel “sold out,” says the author of Money Mindfulness. They don’t get rich, but they don’t get in debt either.
Beyond the artists and anti-system, the neurotic also nests in the professionals who give up asking for raises or raising their rates. On a psychological level, this profile usually hides a belief that one does not deserve more than one already has, closely related to low self-esteem or even fear of rejection.
4. The little ant
The famous fable of the cicada and the ant elevated this insect as an example to follow to achieve a prosperous life. As Cristina Benito points out, acting as a ‘little ant’ in times of crisis or lower income is the right attitude, but it can become a toxic pattern when it is installed permanently in our lives. The little sickly ant ends up accumulating for the sheer pleasure of accumulating, and not out of necessity. Thus, we find individuals who suffer hardship or live in misery for no reason, just because they do not allow themselves to spend a penny.
The founder of Ikea, despite being one of the richest men on the planet, bought products about to expire and cut his hair in developing countries
Their actions are often guided by fears of things that could happen hypothetically – job loss, an unexpected expense… – but that do not exist in the present scenario. The extreme saving they practice thus becomes a “patch against fear”, and not a way to improve their lives. The mythical Mr. Scrooge, the miser from Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol, embodies this toxic guy. Also Ingvar Kamprad, the founder of Ikea, who, despite being one of the richest men on the planet, bought products about to expire to obtain discounts and cut his hair in developing countries.
5. The Cloud of Unknowing
The former Morgan Stanley financial adviser uses the poetic title of an anonymous book from 14th century England to refer to the last sick of money in her classification: individuals who ignore their income and choose to not worry and delegate their management to others. Whether out of dislike, comfort, or nonchalance about a subject they don’t like, those who choose not to know often lose control of their earnings and hold their partner or parents responsible.
This ignorance about the management of money, for example, was the one used by the Infanta Cristina de Borbón in the trial for the fraud and tax evasion schemes of her husband, Iñaki Urdangarin. Athletes like Rafa Nadal or Messi also trusted their parents to manage their wealth, with greater or lesser success.
The problem with this behavior, warns the author, is that, as soon as the relationship with the person who controls the money deteriorates, financial problems arise in the event that economic management has not been ideal. Faced with the excuse of giving up responsibility for ‘not understanding’, Benito warns: “It’s not that he doesn’t understand. It’s that he doesn’t want to understand.”
Once the map of money diseases is displayed, it is time to identify ourselves and straighten out our psychology so that the link with what we earn and what we do with these riches changes. The economist emphasizes that this is possible, and offers hope for the newly self-diagnosed: “Poverty is a state of mind, not having money is only temporary.”
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